I work with this lady named Gene and on Monday morning she felt the need to whisper to my jaw some gossip about a coworker getting arrested over the weekend. Gene’s breath smelled like a backed up septic tank, some spoiled collard greens and monkey burp. On top of that she was chewing gum and the closer she got the farther I backed up. I looked like Michael Jackson doing the smooth criminal lean backwards and the more she talked the more I thought to myself “If she chewed on some toilet tissue her breath wouldn’t smell like that.”  Gene’s breath was so stank I started to ask her to text me the rest of the tee, but Gene is 53 asking her to text me anything would be like asking my 7 year old to do my taxes.

So I sat thru 10 minutes of the funkiest conversation I’ve ever had I my life about coworker Connie her baby daddy and how she ended up getting arrested over the weekend. Every time I thought the conversation was over she would hit me with a “Oh and guess what else?” I would respond as I’m holding my breath “What child?” She went on and on and on and on until our boss came around the corner then Gene said “I’ll have to talk to you later child I need my job”. Let me say that I’m not always happy to see the boss but on this day I saw the boss jumped for joy and started to breathe again! When Gene left I went straight to Connie’s desk and started talking about Gene and her stank breath. That led me to a question “Why is Gene’s Hygiene the way it is?” The only answer I could come up with is she is so busy talking about other people’s problems she can’t find time to deal with hers.

The moral of the story is stop worrying about what other people are going thru in their world and make sure your world is in order. If Gene used the energy she uses to spread peoples misfortune to brush her teeth then she would be a much easier person to talk too. Remember the old song “Sweep around your own front door before you try to sweep around mine.” If not look it up and let’s try to live by that principle and I promise you drama will decrease in your life.

I’m Big Hou and I love to make people laugh so much I do standup comedy. Go check out my blog @ http//bighoucomedy.wordpress.com and for booking information call 850-270-8902.

Email me at bighou1@gmail.com with your version of people talking about people and have issues of their own for you chance to win a 20$ gift certificate.