Valentine’s Day is the one day of the year to find out where you stand in your special person’s life. If you are told that you and your special person will celebrate this day the day before or the days after chances are you are the side ho! First of all this is one of those days that have to be celebrated on this day, this is not your birthday that fell on Tuesday and you go to the club on Friday to celebrate. If you have read that and still believe you are the main chick let me just say “You Stupid!”

If on Valentine’s day your man wants to stay home so he can cook you a special meal, he is probably cheating on you and doesn’t want to get caught, or maybe he is cheap as hell, or just maybe he wants a direct route to the bed room so he can rock your world all night long! Trust me it’s one of the three.

Ladies if your period comes on February 14 of any year you are going to have to get very good at giving head and you may want to consider swallowing, ball juggling, tea bagging and tossing salad, because a man that’s not getting any pussy on Valentine’s Day and has a girl friend might be a little pissed. And no we don’t understand!

Valentine’s Day in my opinion is a day that you show your loved ones how much you care about them. For some reason the dumb ass that came up with this holiday I’m sure he or she is the worst person to be in a relationship with if they had to create a day to love. I think I love every damn day and it shows in that new purse you bought in April with my credit card all just because you liked it. What about this high ass light bill I pay every damn month and you control the damn thermostat turn up the heat because you cold, but I’m hot as hell you need to go grab some COVER! Valentine’s Day is a stupid holiday if you ask me but buying dinner, a gift and coming home and doing some freaky shit at the end of the night ain’t that bad.

Happy Valentine’s Day! To all my side chicks, boyfriends and girlfriends #2 and 3 know you position and respect the game.